Day 26 of Year 26
While I am only 26 days into this, I have been abroad for a year and three months. It has been a necessary process for me to explore and learn more about the world, and myself.
I note that so you do not think me a total pansy for sharing the following thoughts only 26 days in.
Today I awoke to melancholy. It was sobering, and not because of the white russians. It has been a while since I felt this way, I suppose it was overdue for a return.
Relocating and travelling are both fun. I have experienced feelings I never could have while in Canada. The whole process makes me a better person – this I know to be true. However, there are days when I miss my former life(s), the people, and the environments. Specifically my times in Amsterdam, and Canada.
I think we only focus and display the positive sides of travel. Cool photos, beers in exotic places, tourist things, monuments, locals and fellow wanders alike.
But there is another side, not so alluring, when we consider closing chapters and being gone. The thoughts that creep in unannounced to challenge commitment. I wrestled with these feelings many times while in Amsterdam.
The question is, what is the cost of leaving? What is the currency traded for the adventure?
The people you lose, the time away, and the reoccurring nostalgia, to name a few.
And the underlying question, where will I land when it is time to settle in for the long haul? Will it be a familiar place, or somewhere I have yet to discover?
Does my absence harm my relationships? Will people be the same when I return?
How many of the people I say, ‘see you again’ to, will I see again?
Solo travel is great, but would travelling with another be more fun?
While I may be sad today, I am still committed to the process. Perhaps it is a good thing, because I am conscious to the potential outcomes of being away. I am aware of the turbulence of this journey.
I wish the people I wanted to be here with me were.
But I know that is not possible.
I think it is important to share, because travelling has its own unique ups and downs, just like anything in life. Just gotta’ roll with the punches.