The Strip Club Squad In Krakow

Day 14 of Year 26

Every day I walk to the gym and grocery store. It has become the routine. I walk through Old Town (because I live in Old Town) and I pass a spectrum of characters doing their things.

Today as I was marching to the gym, it occurred to me, I have not shared these characters on my blog yet.

So this is that moment.

In Old Town, there is a massive shop type building in the centre of Main Market Square with a large clock tour (Mary’s Church) across on one of the corners. Every hour when the clock tower chymes, a man pops out of a window and plays the trumpet. Some say it is to announce the city is safe. Tourists hang around waiting for him to play.

On the street level there are many people and buskers doing different stuff. There are sometimes b-boys dancers, who draw a pretty good crowd. There are people who paint themselves gold or silver and then pose. I must say, they move a lot for people who are supposed to be ‘statues’. There is room for improvement.

There are old ladies who sell pretzels out of boxes. They are very common.

Seriously, the bread game is strong here.

Each restaurant has their servers standing outside. Sometimes they are trying to offer you a seat, other times doing their whole stoic thing. The Polish’s stoic game is on point.

While walking around, people are handing out fliers and/or trying to persuade you to enter their shops.Krakow37

I have heard some of the weakest pitches ever. As simple as one guy looking at me from inside his shop and saying, “Kebab?”, like it was a question. The answer was no.

Well, until 4am, then it is absolutely yes.

Other times people start walking with you, trying to get more face time.

The best though is the strip club squad. These guys and girls really know how to latch on. “Want pleasure club dance?”, “beautiful girls and drinks”, “lap dance good”, “c’mon boys girls waiting”, to share a few.

Also, when you say no thank you (because us Canadians are polite af), they ask why.

Overcoming objections.

I have been told numerous times from my friends to never go into a strip, er, I mean pleasure club here. With colourful stories to deter the idea from my head. I am not going to share the stories, but I will say for the rest of you – do not go into a pleasure club in Poland. Not a good time.

Lastly, I should note 1 element of the nightlife:

The pretty girls who are all so interested in you because you are awesome.

Gotta give them a shout out.

There are girls who go up to drunk guys, normally in groups of two, or solo dolo, to persuade said intoxicated guys to follow them for a good time. They either go to a bar and order really expensive drinks, or you wake up the next day with no money and wonder what happened. Maybe a special combination of both.

Seriously, let us consider this for a second.

If you are wasted at 4 in the morning, why would two girls be that interested in a good time? Too good to be true. C’mon bro.

I work with the pub crawl, so I have had to chase these girls off a couple of times.

In Canada and in the Netherlands, I never had to consider the idea that somebody might be trying to jack me. Now, I am definitely more aware of what that would look like. Not that I think I would have been susceptible to it before, but at least now I know what it looks like.

Sketch bags.

But hey, different strokes for different folks right.


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